Helping Your Child with Peer Pressure

Peer pressure is the influence children may feel from their friends or classmates to behave in certain ways, whether it’s trying something new, following trends, or making choices they might not be comfortable with. While some peer influence can be positive, encouraging cooperation or trying healthy activities, negative peer pressure can lead children to take risks, go against their values, or feel anxious about fitting in. It’s important for children to learn how to recognise and respond to peer pressure so they can make decisions that feel right for them, rather than just trying to please others. Supporting children in building confidence, setting personal boundaries, and practicing assertive communication helps them navigate social situations with resilience and stay true to themselves.

Signs your child may be experiencing peer pressure:  

Sudden Changes in Behaviour – Your child may start acting out of character by becoming more withdrawn, anxious, secretive, or rebellious.

Changes in Friend Groups – They might start spending time with new friends and distancing themselves from long-time friendships or supportive peers.

Avoiding Conversations – If your child avoids talking about their day, acts defensive, or hides certain behaviours, they may be facing pressure to do things they’re unsure about.

Loss of Confidence – A drop in self-esteem or constant self-doubt may signal that your child is struggling to fit in or feeling judged by peers.

Reluctance to Go to School or Activities – If they suddenly don't want to attend school, sports, or social gatherings, it could be a sign of social pressure or fear of judgment.

Here are some tips on helping your child deal with peer pressure:  

Keep Open, Non-Judgmental Communication – Make it safe for your child to talk about their friends and experiences without fear of punishment or criticism. Ask open-ended questions like, “What’s been happening with your friends lately?”

Teach Assertiveness Skills – Help your child practice saying “no” in firm but respectful ways. Role-play different scenarios so they feel more prepared.

Build Their Confidence – Help your child engage in hobbies or interests where they feel competent and accepted, which strengthens self-esteem and reduces the need to seek approval.

Talk About Real-Life Examples – Use age-appropriate stories, news, or shows to discuss peer pressure and healthy choices. Ask them what they would do in a similar situation.           Know Their Friends and Social Circles – Get to know who your child spends time with and encourage positive friendships. Trusted friends can also help your child resist negative pressure.

Sara Ljuboja

School Counsellor