Tips for Developing Children's Friendship Skills

Developing children's friendship skills is crucial for their social and emotional development. Learning to build and maintain friendships teaches children valuable lessons in empathy, communication, and cooperation. These skills not only enhance their ability to form meaningful relationships but also contribute to their overall well-being and mental health. Through friendships, children learn to navigate conflicts, understand different perspectives, and develop a sense of belonging within their peer groups. Moreover, strong social connections established during childhood can positively influence academic performance and resilience in later life. Therefore, fostering friendship skills from an early age lays a solid foundation for children to thrive personally and socially as they grow older.

Here are some tips on helping your kids manage big emotions:

• Arrange plenty of opportunities for your child to meet lots of different people starting right from birth.
• Children learn from seeing how you treat your friends and their friends and playmates.
• Children find it easier to get along with others if they can do the same things (e.g., learning to swim or having ball skills).
• Talk with children about how to be with others. (e.g., "When someone comes to visit, we say ‘Hello’"; for an older child "Being a good sport means saying well done to the other person even if you don’t feel like it.").
• Play games with them so they learn about cooperating and considering others.
• If a child is aggressive, respond to their feeling but tell them that you don’t like their behaviour. Ask them to think of another way to get what they want. When they are very young you need to show and tell them. "I know you feel angry when I am on the phone, but I don’t like it when you hit. If you want me to come just touch me gently."
• Have other children over one at a time when your children are young. This means no-one is being left out while they are learning.
• Teach your child to smile and greet other people. Don’t force the issue if your child is not ready. It may help to practice at home, when you greet each other in the morning for example.
• Teach children some skills like relating and listening to others, being friendly, and responding and showing interest in what others have to say.
• Help them to show interest in what others are doing and give compliments to their playmates.
• Praise your child for being friendly and caring about others.
• Help children to use words to say what they need and feel (e.g., "I would like a turn with that"; or "Would you like to play in the playhouse with me?").

Sara Ljuboja
School Counsellor